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Relationships are what make the world go around.  Every aspect of our lives is stemming from, governed by, and given access through relationship.  When it comes to starting a personal relationship for courting/dating, it’s up to the man to make the first move.  It is up to the woman to accept or reject his move.  There is an absolute correct order to the madness, when you both know and respect that order, the results will be so much greater.

I call this the “90/10 rule of relationship”.  What this means is, the man has ninety percent of the responsibility in the introduction of the relationship.  Most people do not know or understand this, as we keep doing things out of order and wonder why it doesn’t work.  Men are to lead and make the first move and prove to the lady that he is worthy of her time and knows and understands her value.  Men are created to be leaders and we must learn to lead so that we know how to not only build physical things like buildings and all that the world needs for life, but most importantly we need to know how to build relationships, especially the ones that we need for life such as marriage and children which equals a family.

Ladies only need to bear ten percent of the initial building process and that is deciding whether the man approaching her is worthy and proven after a thorough process of real communication and actions that confirm his legitimacy.  The female does not need to prove anything, just be herself and be honest and know her worth and why she will or why she is not going to allow or accept the offer of this man to enter her life and share her space and time.  This is so crucial because if she allows the wrong person in, she is allowing her life and time including her worth to be stolen from her.  She needs to be whole and happy by herself so that she is not allowing him in for desperation or to fill some void that he is not responsible for nor capable of filling.

Men need to make sure that they are ready and willing to be true and honest men of honor, integrity, and of great character.  Do not approach a woman if you are not secure in yourself spiritually, financially, emotionally and ready to build a healthy relationship with the purpose of finding a lifetime partner and soulmate to live, love, build, and grow old with.  Make sure you are baggage free and have no ties to any other woman that you have not completely closed and are totally free to move forward with no interference.  Make sure you have no unsettled emotional baggage from your childhood, or adulthood including mother or father issues that have not been dealt with, solved and are forgiven and in the past forever.  If you skip this step, it will come back to haunt and destroy the relationships you are seeking to build.  Women need to do the same.  It is not right or fair to try to enter a relationship when you are not whole, free and clear in your heart.

The first move has nothing to do with sex.  So many people have no clue how to start and build relationships the right way.  You don’t enter a relationship thinking of what you can get but of what you can give or bring to the table.  Anyone can be physical, but what is that when you don’t know or like each other.  The physical part is the icing on the cake after you’re married, if you do it before not only are you breaking Gods order, but you are making a mess of your relationship by clouding it with physical lust deception that has nothing to do with whether this is the right person for you.  Dating should be casual until the both of you confirm that you are indeed a match for all the right reasons, not on paper but because you have learned beyond your physical attraction that you are clearly walking in the same direction in life and walking together is a privilege not an obligation or forced choice out of fear, loneliness or desperation.  To compromise on either of your part is detrimental to your lives and will only steal valuable time from and hurt both of you and maybe even children if you birth them together.  Don’t take any shortcuts when it comes to your life.  Ladies, it doesn’t matter how your desire is building or your clock is ticking, always be about your business living life well and allow the man to see, find and pursue you for all the right reasons.  You just need to be wise and clear to recognize him when he comes.  If his character is not what God designed and desires for you which is Christlike, then do not compromise for any reason.  “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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