Relationships are meant to be this great connection between two responsible people who get to enjoy each other on this journey of life. Some people are at peace with themselves which makes it easier to get along and travel with them in this thing called dating and marriage. Then, there are those who are full of unrest and toxins which makes it so hard to understand, like or love them. This love thing can feel like a tug of war on some occasions and could make or break the relationship. When it’s killing you to stay but also hurting you to leave and it feels like torture, then you need some “love pain killers”.
You want this relationship to work, but you feel like the person you are attempting to love is punishing you every day with unnecessary drama that you don’t comprehend. Whether you’re dating and it seems like a toxic deathmatch out of nowhere when you’re trying to enjoy the date or build the relationship or married and feel like you’re sleeping with the enemy who’s trying to kill you with emotions or the lack thereof, it’s so hard. How did these red flags go unnoticed or was this person a great pretender until it got so far? It doesn’t always show what is in a person in the early stages of dating, as people show you what they want you to believe.
It’s important to take your time and really vet the person and get to know the real person as much as you can. You may be surprised to know that you and most of the people in relationships or hoping, don’t really know the right questions or conversations to have to find out whom the person is, and some don’t know whom they are themselves, so you have two wrongs trying to make a right. This will not work. You cannot take two broken pieces that do not match and try to make them become one as though they absolutely belong together and fit like a missing piece of a predestined puzzle. You can see that it is easier to meet and get attached to the wrong person than it is to meet and match with the right person because it takes more time and intentional effort.
You need love pain killers if you wake up every day trying to understand why this relationship brings you so much grief and turmoil. You walk around and try to live with and coexist with this person like you’re walking on eggshells. Do you feel like you’re in a prison or psych ward with no clear exit but trapped? Do you feel like your words and actions are going to be made wrong no matter what you do? Do you feel like they hate you even though they say they love you and want to be with you, and it all seems like a lie? Do you feel like they are hired by the devil to torment you and keep you from being happy? Are you stuck because you are still hanging onto the great person you thought they were when you met them and feel like that person is still there and you’re waiting for them to show up so things can be good again? Do you feel like you’re arguing about things that you know shouldn’t be an argument? Do you really feel like walking away and then feel bad about leaving because you’re still hopeful? You are in a tug of war of the heart and you’re not okay, you need some love pain killers.
The both of you if dating, need to cut ties, and walk the other direction away from each other because this is not a foundation for a solid and healthy relationship. If you are married, then you need to get to marriage counseling and deal with the issues before they kill your marriage or you become married roommates instead of married soulmates, lovers, and each other’s best friend. Relationships are meant to be in unity and a cohesive bond called “intimacy” with two people who both want to be there and make life great with each other, not a place of conflict and constant pain and sorrow. There will be things to work through, but it must be intentional in both people’s hearts to be whole within yourselves and then enjoy becoming one with the other person for all the right reasons and nothing less. If you or they are not here to bring love, joy and peace, and experience a wonderful life’s journey together, then it will not work no matter what you think, want, or desire. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.
