It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, we can all see and hear about the crazy dysfunctional love sagas happening every day. When we connect with people to build what we hope is a good relationship, we never know if this will be love or crazy love. Maybe most of us are just crazy. If the relationship you are in and possibly trying to get out of is just crazy, don’t feel bad for not hesitating to run for the exit never to return.
First, love is not crazy, but people are. We have normalized dysfunctional behavior as though this is the way dating and marriage is supposed to be. Let me give you the good news, this is not normal or right in any way. I know that most of us did not see or experience the correct way of relating to one another from a unified marriage within our households growing up. Some of us had great examples and just didn’t pay attention to learn from them and then follow the examples when we became adults. Love is not a place of drama and grief, but trying to love without knowing what love is, is sure to be a place of hard knock life.
Secondly, you should not sink into the mindset that society has painted for us in making us think that we should not expect to have blissful long-lasting and lifetime relationships when that is exactly what we are supposed to have. People are shocked when you say you’ve been together more than five years if you’re married. Yet, people are not shocked when you say that you have been dating five years, as though the two of you should not be married already. That is crazy. Do not date someone that long, as you would be stealing from yourself and wasting your time, unless you started dating in college and are trying to get on your career track in life with some financial stability. If it’s just that you’re afraid of commitment, then you’re wasting time and that is crazy.
Fighting as we may describe it is just difference of mindset, morals, character traits, dishonesty, or just simply wanting different things etc. If we don’t want the same things and we don’t like each other’s way of thinking and doing things, then why are we here? We will always be fighting and arguing about things that we do not like or agree with. This is not love, we are trying to force something to be based off physical attraction and not the total package. It doesn’t matter how physically attracted we may be, that will never keep us together because we wouldn’t be fighting if that were the case. If we cannot get along, where could this relationship possibly be going and how could it survive and thrive in a marriage setting?
It is crazy to think that it’s normal for us to wake up and lie down in a constant tug of war going on in our hearts and verbally and emotionally suffering every day with someone that we say we love but we can’t stand. This is not crazy love; it is just crazy, and we need to let each other go for the betterment of both of us. If you’re married, go to counseling until and fight with all your might to make things right. If you’re dating, it’s a no-brainer, just cut your loss of time and immediately walk away, this is not meant to be. If you keep doing what you’re doing and expect this person to be something else and that this will have a happy ending you are just deceiving yourself. Love makes both of us very happy, if it’s not that, it’s not love, just crazy. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.