Have you ever dated someone or maybe you are presently dating someone but it feels like they are not up close and personal in helping build the relationship? Ever get the feeling or you know without a doubt that you are dating by yourself? When you go to the movies, the balcony is cool because you’re not too close to the screen and you can see everything very clearly just the way you like it. Most people do not choose the front row seats in theaters because it is uncomfortable to have the screen right in your face.

When dating, it’s hard to get close to someone who is trying to date you from a distance. You don’t smell and your breath is fresh, what could be the problem? They didn’t get this far by asking you out or accepting your request to go out by doing what they are now doing. What is the problem? Is it them or is it you? You may first point the finger at yourself but let’s examine the situation to see what may be happening here so that you can see clearer to make a decision.

You have no idea what this person has been through in their life, but you want to get to know them obviously or you wouldn’t be dating them right? Well, they said they wanted to date you as well, but now they are standing way off in the relationship and you may be newly in or may have been dating for a season but find that nothing is moving forward. This is confusing and it is a pain in the heart and mind to deal with. See, this is why we end up with walls about dating and etc., because people don’t do what we think they should or how we think they should and this offends us.

Rest your mind, as it is probably not your fault. Likely, the person has some inside issues that are beating them up. They could have just been arrested with this horrible thing called fear where they will think of all of these crazy scenarios in their own mind that have nothing to do with you and start formulating ways to protect themselves from getting hurt. Yep, this is foolish and a clear way to self-sabotage the relationship. They could also not have a clue as to how to build a relationship due to bad experiences or lack of examples in the home. Then, some people just want to have someone around even if they don’t plan on treating you right, just to say that they are not alone. Some people just want you around to have physical intercourse with no intent on building intimacy. By the way sex is not intimacy, sex is sex. Intimacy means that we are closely bonded, and most people have no clue.

You need to ask point blank what is the problem and see if the person will be honest. In most cases they may not but at least you have your own mind to make a decision. Dating is a give and take interaction or exchange where we both are to be honest and true in what we say and do. You do not deserve nor should you tolerate someone playing games with your reality. This is why you do not go into dating giving away physical things, just focus on getting to know the person. If you do not like what is going on then you can just end it and exit with nothing but a few hours in a few days lost. You can delete the number and keep it moving. Do not sit there and try to fix that person, that is not your responsibility it’s their own. Keep yourself free of takers and time-thief’s who will drain your life and leave you empty. You deserve better so treat yourself better and do not let anyone devalue your time and life. Everything is about relationship, build them well!

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© 2019 Harlon Bell.