Women already choke up when the preacher directs them to repeat the vows that says to promise to honor and obey your husband. They do this because most men and women have not been properly taught nor have we seen enough Godly examples that showed us what this means. If you do not know the biblical principles for being a husband or wife, then I can see why this is still a problem.

You are her husband, not her father. Remember, she already left her father to marry you. She did not sign a marriage license with a new father but a lover, provider, leader, and protector that she should gladly call her husband. It doesn’t matter if you are an alpha male, you should be, but that does not mean to be her boss. That means that you lead her with the wisdom and Spirit of God leading you. You are to be both a lion and a lamb, meaning you know how to lead and how to sacrifice or lay down your life (foolishness).

She is your wife, your lover, and your best friend and soul mate. You chose her to be your helper in life to walk beside you and only behind you in the sense of you protecting her and or your household and family from harm. She is not your toy except when the two of you are inviting each other to your body’s party. That’s another subject, but needed to be said. She does not want to make love or have children with her father so why would you lose your mind and try to treat her like you are, instead of her husband whom she would love to do everything with.

You are not her boss, and you do not tell her to sit down or shut up. She is not your puppet, nor your maid. She is not to be left home alone except if you are working. She is to be your first priority and most important partner in life in all decisions concerning the two of you. She is there to be right by your side, and your greatest asset. If you don’t treat her like an equal she could be your worst liability.

She does not want to be around nor live with and certainly be intimate with someone who treats her like some child who needs daddy’s approval. She doesn’t need you to tell her how perfect she is not or what she is doing wrong. She does not need you to punish or ignore her. She wants, needs, and totally expects you to be a loving, and supportive husband who honors and cherish her every moment of your life. Treat her like the queen she is and not like she is your daughter. She married you, not her father. Be a great husband. Ask for help if you don’t know how. Everything is about relationship, build them well!

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© 2019 Harlon Bell.