You are not single if you are involved in a marriage and the two of you have decided to separate because of disagreements, arguments, fights, problems, unresolved issues, or even infidelity (adultery). You are still married and inside a covenant committed agreement with your spouse and God, in which both of you made a vow to keep until death separates you. No, you may not kill each other. What part of married do you not understand? Who told you that you could act like a single man/woman?
We live in a world where many people think and feel that it is acceptable or not wrong to date around while separated from a spouse. Let me pose the question to you individually and corporately and see where your mind is. Do you believe it is okay to date someone while you are in a separation from your current spouse? I am one who shoots straight and unbiased, and I don’t try to please the people to agree with what the majority wants. It is absolutely wrong to date anyone while you are married, regardless of the fact that you are separated at the time.
Separation is not a finalized divorce and is clearly cheating on your spouse. This is a time period when you and your spouse have agreed to live in a different household because you are not getting along and need to decide whether to work it out over time or divorce. How in the world can you work out a relationship when you put your hurt feelings and someone else in between you and your spouse. You would have to be out of your mind to think that this is acceptable or productive in any way. You are confused and putting gasoline on a fire that is clearly going to destroy any chance of reconciliation in your marriage.
Separation is not a hall pass to cheat on your mate, you are not free, you are just not in sync and need to get it together or terminate the marriage. It is adultery, plain and simple and you are wrong. This mentality is part of the reason you are separated in the first place, and I will not give you an excuse to destroy your family. Even if you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, until the court says it is final, neither of you should be in any relationship until that time. You may not like my analysis but I speak the truth. Respect yourself and those involved enough to get clarity and do what is right in spite of your flawed emotions and selfish hormones.
The fact that you are in a marriage and think it’s okay to date someone else is a major flaw and problem in your thinking. the only person you should be focused on is getting yourself together and working through counseling to eliminate the confusion that is causing your marriage to fall apart. Especially if you have any children involved, you cannot make emotional decisions to walk away from your vows that you promised. Fight for your marriage and family like your life depends on it. If it’s not adultery and physical abuse, you have no reason to leave, it’s just hard because feelings are hurt.
Separation means someone is being mistreated and something has to change. No one should be mistreated, but if you separate make sure that you do not bring any other person or thing between you getting it together or realizing that after doing all we could, that we must go our separate ways. This means that one or both refuses to change for the better to make sure we can make it work. Do not put gasoline on the fire. Fight for love and keep the pathway clear, no matter your reason for separation. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.