So often we hear about the evidence of a love gone bad by violence ending in emotional, physical abuse or death. We have the evidence daily of this reminder that every person that looks good is not good. I’ll speak mainly from the male abuse perspective, in that there are men in this world who think it’s okay to abuse women that they claim to love. Now if you are a woman and you think that abuse and love have anything to do with each other, you need help immediately.
Love will never hurt or abuse you. People who don’t respect you or know what love is will abuse you. “Hurting people hurt people, whole people help people”. The reason a man or person, that is to say if you are a female abuser, likes to take your mind is because that is the place where control has to first take root. If you kill or control the mind you already have the body.
Why do you think a woman will stay with a man who says he loves her, has sex with her, but then out of the blue just hits her like a punching bag for no reason at all other than he is a sick broken coward who needs help, but uses you as his release for the demons inside of his mind? This man is broken and afraid and the only way he knows how to live in his head is to try to control everything in his life in order to live.
He has no real peace in his life and he is hurting from some event, time or situation in his life that hurt him or he saw this pattern and is now repeating it. There is no excuse to turn and hurt someone because you were or are hurting. As a woman if a man begins to try to change anything about you from the mental, physical, or even your family, friends or routines, you need to get away immediately because he is trying to isolate you to control you for his sick selfish abusive intent.
If you begin to give a person your mind, you are giving them control of your life to manipulate, isolate, devastate and in some cases eliminate your natural life. This person will seek to tear down all of your self love, self-esteem, right relationships, take you away from the people, places and things that protect you and keep you strong because he is a weak coward who needs to feel empowered. He doesn’t know the truth about love and he is confused and misguided in his mind. He thinks that the only way to keep something is to force it by fear and violence. He has no idea what love is. Love is a choice to give that love to another for their betterment.
Jealousy is not love, and love never seeks to hurt anyone for any reason. You are not his fixer, his victim, nor his savior. You cannot fix him, nor is it your job or responsibility. If a person abuses you, do not stay no matter what excuse is offered nor what apology is offered, it is a lie to keep you there and make you feel sorry for or guilty for doing what is right and that is leaving. This is why you pay attention to people and how they act and think. Some are very good actors and you never see this until you’re married. Do not allow this to happen more than once..
When a man is sick, he will destroy everything in his life including you, the one he said he loved. When a man does not know love which is only found in God, he cannot love you because he does not know the nature, character, and definition of love. Love brings life and joy, not pain and death. Get away, get help, and don’t go back. Can this person change? Yes, but you should not be there until it is an absolute proven truth that they have. No, he cannot do it alone, but he can do it with God and counseling, but stay away and let it be proven through time. In violent cases, report, file charges, and do not go back. Pray for them and keep it moving. Don’t die trying to save a man that does not want to deal with his demons and uses them to kill you. You are priceless, and you deserve to be loved not abused. Everything is about relationship, build them well”.
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233
National sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-4673