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When dating and going through the infatuation stages of relationship, we are filled with “Desire” driven by anticipation.  Infatuation is the queasy butterflies, and excitement you feel when experiencing the newness of meeting each other.  Everything seems so perfect and so right for a season, however short or long it lasts for each of us.  Some of us jump from the chase of this feeling from one person to another like seeking for a drug-filled high that can only be felt with a new relationship.  

This is not the answer, and will never position you for true love or intimacy on the level of marriage.  For those who do go on to get married, who either waited to have sex after marriage as you should, or for those who had relentless sex before marriage; many of you say “It’s cold in this bedroom”. One or both of you have become consumed with the cares of this life with work, bills, children, marriage issues, family issues, and have allowed the blazing fire to die down in your bedroom sex life.  

This is a tragedy and happens all too often in the confines of marriage.  This is the place where the two of you should ravish each other with sex and the Bible teaches you to do so and to be the freak of each others “Desire”.  Why do you not fight to keep it hot in your bedroom chambers?  Husbands watch TV instead of flirting, women watch other desperate women on TV and get caught up in being a mother or tired from working outside of the home and now we are not making love anymore.

 It is up to both people in the relationship to keep the fire not only lit, but extremely hot.  This takes a conscious effort, but it is not a hard one, you just don’t get comfortable to the point that you go to sleep on your relationship.  You have to take care of yourself and each other before you can take care of the kids, business and other parts of life.  The intimacy between the two of you makes everything else work that much better because your focus and emotions or mental state will be better and stronger.  

Flirt as much as you can think of it, all through the day and even over the children’s heads.  Call, email, text, send a gift to her or him, leave hot love notes at random where only the two of you can find it.  Keep a date night and if it’s not financially clear at the moment, be creative and make your life a playground and laugh with each other often.  You can’t hold back on your spouse and get the best out of the relationship and intimacy.  Sex is the gift to the relationship and you should take care of the gift and use it well. Don’t let your bedroom become a cold sore, because it should be hotter than any illegitimate setting where these things take place.  If you are married, you have strict permission from God to be each others freak of nature.  In other words, it’s time for sexual healing. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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