You can step into just about any residence, barbershop, locker room or any place on the planet where men are, and find the majority of them all secretly wanting to ask one question. What do I do with this woman? I know there are many men that are at home with there wives and children. Women are sitting there wondering what is wrong with her man, and asking why doesn’t he know how to love me? When men ask the question, the response is always, “love her man”.

He wouldn’t ask if he knew what that actually means. Men know that when they are growing up, they think about what girlfriend they will have or what kind of car or job they will have. Most boys are not planning a wedding in their heads the way most girls do from a young age. Boys live in the moment unless they are planning some mischievous act. Men do he same thing, we live in the moment except when starting or running a company or saving for some object to buy. We weren’t taught to plan for you, woman.

Even if a boy grew up with his father in the home, it is likely that his dad was still trying to figure out and understand what he should be teaching his son. Ladies, there is no class or school for men to be trained in some university to know how to treat and love you the way you deserve. It is our father’s responsibility to teach us by word and example as he is to love our mother. Unfortunately, many have failed to realize the action that is to follow the vows and promises made at the altar.

Love – To give of yourself willingly and sacrificially for the betterment of another, expecting nothing in return. Honor – to show her respect as you take responsibility to treat her with true sincerity and keep yourself from foolish thinking and actions. Cherish – to adore and treasure only her, as you remind her everyday that she is your queen and she is priceless. Forsaking all others – to be faithful in word, thought, and actions, as you stay true to her as the only woman, lover, best friend, and your greatest asset in your life.

She is your top priority before work, children, parents and anything else on the earth second only to God (Ephesians 5) . You are made to lead, love, provide, and protect her. You cannot do that if you are not present in spirit mind, and body. Yes, we all have to work, but when work is done, check out of work and into your wife and family. Work is part of your day, not the end of your day. She should be the main person you want to see and spend time with. You can’t do this without knowing and imitating Christ. He is the pure embodiment of love and sacrifice. Yes, you need His love, His character and nature living within you in order to make your wife feel like “Wonder Woman”, and see you as her “Superman”.

You cannot checkout on her and then expect her to give you the depth of her intimacy and respect. She is made to respond to your actions, so if your actions are poor, then you should expect her reaction to mirror that, but you and I both know that she tries to give you more than what you are giving. Man up! Stop coming home and sitting down as if work is all you know how to do. Flirt with her from work via text or phone call. Leave her love notes and compliment her daily. Be a man she can be proud of whether she’s on your arm or even when you’re away. She should always hear good reports about your character and not be shamed by the lack thereof.

Love takes effort because it is a conscious decision to give of yourself. You are not a boy anymore so do not continue acting like one. When you see a man that is doing it right, stop him and ask him for some wisdom. Read your bible and get to know love, so that you can have it within you to give even when you don’t “feel” like it. Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice and you told your wife she is your choice, now prove it everyday and never, ever quit on her and the promise you made to love her for life. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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© 2019 Harlon Bell.