Love is a conscious decision and intentional effort that we promised to do for life in front of God and witnesses. Giving ourselves one to the other in holy matrimony as we forsake all others to be faithful and true. When we become one in the name of marriage, don’t allow complacency to trick the two of you into the web of routine and forget to make time for love.

You were so excited when you were dating and you both looked ecstatic on your wedding day. We all saw you walking on “cloud nine”, as you joined hands and made your vows to love, honor, and cherish one another for life. You are still alive, so do not quit on the journey you promised to travel together. Love takes a conscious level of work to keep it on the level it deserves to be.

Love is not like an aircraft you can place on auto-pilot or a car on cruise control. You need the two of you to stay at the wheel and both be alert and hands on. If one or both of you leave and let go, your life can be spun out of control by the different challenges or storms of life that can approach from any direction. If you both stay focused and watch, the trials of life will not sneak up on you and knock you off course.

Communication is the key to staying updated on where each of you stand or need assistance. You must continue to stay tuned in and keep each other built up and accountable. Keep a date night, and be intentional in spending quality time together so that your intimacy level is high. Be honest with each other and admit when you need help or have a need that should be addressed. Talk to your spouse like the king or queen they are and your response and results will always be positive. Love should flow from your heart, then out of your mouth, no matter what the situation is.

Play and laugh together as often as you can. Go to comedy shows on a date night, or watch in your home, just keep laughing. When we keep our spouse as our intentional best friend and confidant, it takes away any opportunity for some outsider to infiltrate and destroy your intimacy and ultimately your relationship and marriage. No one should be inside your marriage to have the power to break the two of you apart.

Pray together, and keep God in the center of your lives so that you always remember to imitate His love in how you love each other. If you spend your time seeking to love and give each other all that you deserve, you both win all the time, even when you disagree. Fight fair, and fight for the love you have. Don’t ever quit on each other because life is a battlefield and you never leave your spouse alone in this war. Live to love and love to live each other and your whole lives and every person you touch will be better starting with your children.

Life has many responsibilities, distractions, challenges, and situations. You can only control your own actions, so keep your mind right so that you make great decisions. Stay on the same page and check each other when you’re not. Don’t let selfish and foolish pride and stubbornness take you off in the distance away from the person you promised to stay connected to. You must learn to forgive each other immediately and not do things to purposely hurt one another.

“Love doesn’t hurt people, hurting people hurt people”. Don’t allow work or children’s activities to take you away from each other. The two of you come first with no guilt, if not the rest will suffer and all will fall down. Don’t fill your schedule with life or worshiping your children or work and forget to make time for love. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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© 2019 Harlon Bell.