We often feel like life is this puzzle that we must put together and make all the pieces fit into place before we can exhale and say job well done. We pressurize ourselves when we start middle school with trying to figure out who we are, where we belong and what we will become. This is where fear starts for most people, as we become more aware of making life-decisions and learning the realness of consequences. We can easily become overwhelmed with how we are going to be able to put all the pieces of our lives together.
The dating to marriage aspect is usually at the forefront of our thoughts and concerns as we try to figure out if we will have someone to walk this life’s journey with us and be very happy with that choice. It can be overwhelming for some and an exciting adventure for others. If you’ve ever tried to put together a puzzle, you know that there are many levels from no-brainers to brain overload when it comes to simple or complicated. We like the easy ones because we can easily see where the pieces of our lives belong like doing well in school and choosing a college and career path.
When it comes to choosing whom, we will spend our lives with, this is where the puzzle becomes very difficult for many of us. We didn’t all experience great relationships shown by our parents or others around us. We can have some great references or bad references, but we cannot say that we had none. How we perceived our experiences is what we used to shape our understanding and way of living. When we seek to join this lifestyle with others is where we find out how great we turned out or how messed up we are.
It is not the responsibility of either of you to seek to put your mate as this puzzle piece of life as though you have been given the task of putting them together to fit what your ideology is for a perfect mate according to you. If one or both of you place yourselves in this position it will end badly for all involved. Your relationship with each other is not for you to build, shape, or mold each other into perfect mates. When you choose each other, it should be from a position of wholeness and a clear conscious choice with no blind or preconceived notions or ulterior motives.
Life may feel like a puzzle, but you are not. You have a creator, and He is the only one who can put you together to be your absolute best, if you allow Him to shape and mold you in His image, only then are you whom you should be. Never take the place of God and try to make a person right for you. If you don’t like what you are hearing and what you see and experience as you get to know a person and where they would like to go in life, then you can simply make the right decision to part ways at that moment with nothing lost. The problem is when people like an appearance or a few things about a person then try to begin building this carbon copy of what is in their own mind and try to manipulate this person into being what they think they should be. This is absolutely wrong and will never work, as you will both regret it, and it will not succeed.
Life has plans that we need to work together to complete as our goals are achieved but putting another person together is not a task that we could ever nor should ever attempt to achieve. If you don’t like who you are inside and out and you don’t like whom they are inside and out, then it will never fit. Be honest with yourself and only connect to walk through this life with the person whom you know is the right fit for you because you both love each other just the way you are with no hesitation or any desire to change them to fit the puzzle in your own head. “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.