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Ladies often think that dating a guy is an investment that she is putting her time and effort into molding and making to her satisfaction.  She believes that she is helping herself by trying to emotionally enforce or manipulate the dating situation and the attitude and actions of the guy to what she thinks and wants him to do according to her preconceived plan that she has generated in her head since childhood.  She believes that if he follows her guidance that they can create a perfect life together and that she will have her knight in shining armor and a happily ever after.  Fairytale books or a fairytale mindset can be the destruction for many women if they fall into this deception.  Men are their own person’s and are not to be trained or manipulated to fit some ideology in a woman’s head or personal plan.  He is not part of the stock market and whatever you do to him has no guarantee of a positive return.  

People are who they are and whom they’ve been groomed or decided to be until they choose to be different. We are raised by parents with many different styles of teaching and discipline methods.  We range from no parent, single parent and many have both parents present in the home to teach them.  However, we were raised, then our perception of that is how we arrived at whom we currently are when it comes to our way of thinking and actions.  

Ladies can meet a guy and not consider the fact that both of you have your own way of thinking.  This is not an opportunity or assignment to start dissecting one another to see what you think is acceptable or unacceptable for you to personally set out to correct for them inwardly or outwardly.  You do get to choose what you can or cannot accept and that is fine because you can simply choose not to engage further if you do not like what you have seen or come into knowledge of that does not fit your need or desires.  

This freedom of choice is why dating is an interview, and marriage means you have the permanent position. These must be taken seriously from the beginning, because you should be living and doing all things intentionally, not by chance as life is not a game, you do not get a do-over.  Ladies, men are not your life projects.  He is not here for you to train like a pet or to give him commands and treats like you would a pet animal.  You are not his owner nor are you his mother or boss.  You are not his stockbroker, and he is not a stock that you can buy, sell, or trade through any type of emotional manipulation.  

When he approaches you to seek to enter your life, it is your responsibility to make sure that you are whole in your heart, mind, body, soul, and spirit.  You need to be happy and content with yourself before he approaches so that you can clearly determine why he’s here and if he is the man, you are willing to allow in your life for all the right reasons.  Your role is to respond not to seek to control or manipulate the relationship in any way.  He is either right for you or he’s not.  There is no grey area.  If he is not what you need and want, meaning as you get to know his thoughts and plans, then you have lost nothing.  This is all part of the process of getting to know if the two of you can walk the same direction with total agreement.  If he doesn’t grow or become any better; is he all that you want and need right where he is today in every way?  If the answer is no, then you need not keep trying to build anything with him as it will all fall apart eventually and neither of you should do this to yourselves.  

Keep everything in perspective, and keep it simple, and you will not feel like you’ve lost any time, nor have you given anything that you shouldn’t have in the situation.  It is up to the man to prove that he is worthy, and if he’s not, it is not your responsibility to try to mold him into a worthy mate.  He is a man that you can love if he brings that to you, but if he does not have his life in the right motion and have a solid lifestyle of daily progression that you can happily flow with without question or fear, then you should not be in the situation another minute.  He is not an investment, so you won’t be disappointed, nor will you waste or lose time and heart when you understand that he is not yours to raise, shape or train.  “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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