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When we set out to date and connect with another person as a single individual, we should date with clear intentions.  This means that we should not look at dating like rolling dice or some other type of gamble.  This is your life that we are talking about; do not play games with your reality nor someone else’s.  You need to be clear on your desire and motives so that you are connecting on purpose with an intended and desired result.  That result should be to find a life mate, not a temporary date.

First, you need to be clear of all past life and relationship baggage no matter the root.  This means that you should not be taking garbage such as hurt, fear, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness etc. into what is supposed to be new.  New and old cannot co-exist and be successful in this way.  We are to learn from the past, not hold on to it and keep it in our present to condemn or torture ourselves or the other person.  If you have not let go and dealt with the painful things, then you are not free and clear to move forward.  It is not the responsibility of the other person to free you from any past pain, that is up to you, God, and a counselor.  Do not ask another person to be your savior.

Secondly, if you are clear and have the right heart, mind and motives to start a relationship, do so with honesty rather than shallow intent.  Don’t use fake presentations, and shallow conversations to impress people or put on false acting to trick people into your life.  Be whom you truly are and expect and require the same from them.  Have real conversations about real things so that you are not wasting your time with surface things that do not tell you who the person truly is and what they are looking for in a relationship.

Some people want to play games and should say they are just trying to hang out, instead of misleading the person as if they want a real relationship.  This should be clearly stated from the beginning of the conversation, not weeks or months later when you both have feelings, or the lack thereof involved.  You cannot blame the other person if you went along with surface conversation the whole time instead of getting to know from day one what the person is bringing and asking you to bring if you decide to continue the conversation to get to know each other.

Thirdly, you can find out immediately if you want to even have more than one conversation with this person in less than thirty seconds or so when you ask the right questions.  When a conversation starts between the two of you, which the male should initiate, either of you can ask the right questions first to find out if you are on the same page.  After exchanging hello’s and what is your name, then are you from around here or of legal age range, you should ask the important questions before proceeding any further.  What is your faith, or where do you worship?  This will tell you immediately if the conversation should continue.  If you are not of the same faith, the conversation for a relationship as a couple should cease at this point.  You should never date or try to build a relationship with someone of a different faith, it is just wrong, and it will not work.  Two people cannot walk together with different paths.  Ask what they do and if they are in their lane or desired path in life and what that looks like now and for the future (plan).  If these two don’t appeal to you, then that conversation is over.  “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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