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Love is the most misunderstood element of life when it comes to building relationship from dating to marriage.  We know the results as the dating break-up and divorce rate continues to prove that all falls apart when love breaks down.  Love is not the problem; the problem is that most of the world society or humanity does not know how to love in its truest sense.  We’ve reduced love to the many things we use daily, such as chocolate, cars, homes, jobs, and the other perishable things we spend our money and time with.  When love breaks down, the relationship cannot stand and will not last.  Love is not the only element, but it is the foundation that everything else in the relationship is or should be built on.

Love is the foundation because it is not a feeling.  Love is a conscious choice to give of yourself to and for the benefit of another person in total commitment voluntarily.  Love is the covenant decision that says I want to build my life with you not based on the perfection of either of us but despite our imperfections, we choose to love, honor, cherish, adore and be faithful to one another until we no longer exist in this life.  Love is the promise to never quit on each other and to be our best for one another.  Love has one assignment and that is to give by continually building the bond of intimacy (closeness) that binds us together with cords of love that are not easily broken, especially when God is the first cord.

When love breaks down it is because we have forgotten what love is or we never really knew and were hoping that this feeling (infatuation) would keep us where we were when we first started.  You remember when we couldn’t get enough of being together and talking for hours or hating to say bye.  What happened?  Now we don’t flirt anymore, we are not dating, we are not touching, we don’t laugh, we don’t talk like we used to, and we’re not making love anymore.  You don’t even look at me and you don’t kiss me like you used to.  You don’t call me to see if I’m okay.  You don’t ask me how is or was my day.  When was the last time we’ve been on a date?  Is love gone away?

Love doesn’t leave, but when people replace love with life’s responsibilities, they think that love has gone away when it is, they’ve gone away from love.  Your children, your parents’, siblings, job, business, career, friends, hobbies, etc. should never ever take the place of the two of you and your intimate covenant relationship.  You have just put your daily grind and attempts to survive or live in first place and moved commitment to each other way down the list when it should always be at the very top with God in it with you through and through.  If you take God out, and you replace each other and assume the role of provider, dad, mom, roommate, commuter, bill payer and the likes, you have told love to break down.

People forget to love; love doesn’t forget to love.  You’ve grown apart because you allowed yourselves to get caught up in life, like you swore and promised never to do.  Life has a million things pulling at your mind day and night.  It takes two people committed to allow God to hold them accountable with His Spirit and His word.  It takes the two of you holding yourselves accountable and allowing the other person to hold you accountable to remain focused on the top priorities in life and keeping all things in proper order.  If one or both of you get out of order, this is the gap that allows love to break down and for disorder to break us apart.  Relationships are not hard when we truly understand that we have the power to keep everything moving in the right direction.  Choose to stay focused and be your best self for you and your mate each day.  “Everything is about relationship, build them well”.

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